mellybrelly (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mellybrelly) wrote2010-06-17 09:39 pm
mellybrelly) wrote2010-06-17 09:39 pm
Entry tags:
anger anger anger happy
If I wasn't 34 weeks, I probably would start looking for other care for this birth. What a frustrating afternoon.
So, I've had some frustrations as you probably know. Failing my gestational diabetes test by 2 points, being told that you have to fail two parts to actually fail, then being told I can just do random draws of blood to make sure my blood sugars were fine, and then being told that no, I'm high risk (because I'm overweight) so I have to do the test again.. then finding out that I did things that likely made me fail the test, like not eating properly before the test and exercising during the test. I had such different information from each person I talked to, I asked if I could just speak to a midwife about it, and when I had my appointment, the midwife said they would talk about it all together and let me know.
My stance was that I didn't mind redoing the test, but that I wanted to know if it was necessary. That midwife said she wasn't sure it was, since I hadn't been given proper instructions and I just barely failed one section.
It's been about 5 weeks or so and I never heard from them. My last midwife appointment I reminded the next (different) midwife and she was surprised they hadn't spoken about it and said she'd make sure it was talked about at their next meeting and that I'd get a call. Still no call.
Then last appointment I am told I need two additional ultraounds. I asked why and was told it was because I was high risk because I have hypertension. That was news to me, since my blood pressure hadn't been bad since the first two visits and once they stopped using the automatic cuff on me, my blood pressure was usually around 120/80. They asked me to also buy a monitor for home ($100), which I did, and I took my blood pressure every morning for a couple months and submitted it. My blood pressure at home was 115/70 approximately, every day. The midwife said she was surprised I was considered hypertension and that she'd talk to the other midwives about whether or not I needed the two extra ultrasounds, and that they'd phone me.
That phone call happened the same time as my GD phone call, namely, NEVER.
So today I go in, they were half an hour late getting me in, and I could tell right away that something bad was going on. The midwife sat down and told me that it looked like I would be asked to leave the practice because I "refused to do any testing".
First, I was angry and said "You are actually telling me AGAIN that I will have to leave, at 34 weeks?" and then I made a comment about being sick of being threatened to be kicked out of the practice, and she got all defensive and said no one was saying "kicked out" they were saying "asked to leave". I said she could say it as sweetly as she liked, it meant the same thing.
She told me that they had a meeting three weeks ago and that it was decided that I had to redo the GD test. Then last week they discussed the fact that I was questioning the ultrasounds and that they wanted me to do those as well.
Then we discussed the fact, or rather I told her, that 1) I never said I wouldn't do the procedures, I said that I wanted to know if they were actually necessary first, since I was getting so much conflicting information, and 2) that I was told they hadn't had the meeting yet, and that 3) NO ONE CALLED TO TELL ME I HAD TO DO THEM.
I would have done them already if someone had actually spoken to me about it, but no, I'm getting kicked out for refusing to do something that I didn't actually refuse to do.
So then it all changed and she said I didn't need to be kicked out, that she didn't actually think my blood pressure was bad at all, but that the OB said that with me being overweight, not being certain about my GD status and no ultrasounds, she was concerned. Then the midwife said they were concerned since no one knew if my baby was head down or not, and that "The midwives check every appointment". Uh, no they don't. I told her no one had checked, and she said "Yes they did, they check with their hands every time". I told her that no, "Wendy said she wouldn't bother". Three appointments ago, the one midwife I really like DID check and said the baby's head was down. Then the next appointment the next midwife said it was still early, so she wouldn't bother. Then last time the other midwife didn't check, just checked heartbeat. She looked all shocked and got me on the table and checked and said she wasn't certain if baby's head was down or not, so that was another reason for the ultrasound. GREAT. TELL ME I NEED IT AND I'LL OBVIOUSLY DO IT. Fuck.
Oh, and then she argued with me about exercising during the test, and about carboloading and basically accused me of trying to trick the test. (FFS) I told her to do some research because I was not trying to trick the test, I was trying to get the most accurate results, and carboloading beforehand for three days does that. She finally said she'd call the diabetes specialists at the hospital, because she just couldn't understand what I was saying, and even though the glucose bottle says not to move or make noise, she didn't understand why it would be bad to go exercise during the test.. even though the OTHER TWO MIDWIVES UNDERSTOOD AND KNEW.
The whole appointment was a stupid clusterfuck where she went on about how I could sue, and that's why they couldn't trust that my blood pressure readings were true... She threw in some fear mongering about how my placenta could just rip off of me and the baby could die, etc.
anyway, huge mess that ended with me agreeing to doing all the testing, so I have an ultrasound on Monday, 3 hour GD test on Tuesday, and an additional midwife appointment on Thursday.
She ended up telling me (and this is where it gets all frustrating in my head) that she actually thinks my blood pressure is fine, and that I'm not really high risk, but it's their OB who says I am, and they have to do what the OB says, so if I do all the tests, the OB will likely back off.
She did apologize for how they had failed me by not communication with me properly, or each other, and she gave me a big hug. (Sadly the midwife at the last appointment also apologized for that, but nothing came of it) I cried the entire appointment, and the entire drive home. I still start crying when I think of it.
I swear to god I'll rip a face off if I do all that and then they still say I need to find other care.
I think what hurts is that I picked midwives because I was looking for a certain kind of care, the kind of bonding and care that my friends back home had with their midwives. I've had all kinds of stress with mine, and feel like I just keep hitting a wall with them. I think that for my next birth, I will research a little more, think a little more about what I want. I think that I want one on one care with a midwife, not see 7 midwives and feel like I'm getting different info from everyone, and that no one is communicating properly. I think they are good midwives, I just think that I don't fit their "normal" and that they don't really know what to do with me, since I don't just say yes to everything.
Tim said that he thinks I'll still end up with the kind of birth I want, it's just unfortunate that things have gone the way they have. He says that if this comes up with them again, I need to just be straight forward and tell them that I do not have a problem with the testing or procedures, I have a problem with the different opinions I've been getting and the lack of communication.
So big freaking mess of stupidity.
Then my best friend in Canada called and said she had bad news for me.. I wanted to cry again, I thought she was going to say she couldn't come visit, but she said that she couldn't get the flight she wanted into Dulles airport, but she got one into Baltimore!!!! She's coming for a week at the end of August. I want to cry I'm so happy. That news made my day all better again.
So, what a high and low and high again day!!! I'm still pretty fed up with the midwives, and all that crap, but hopefully it will get worked out.
So, I've had some frustrations as you probably know. Failing my gestational diabetes test by 2 points, being told that you have to fail two parts to actually fail, then being told I can just do random draws of blood to make sure my blood sugars were fine, and then being told that no, I'm high risk (because I'm overweight) so I have to do the test again.. then finding out that I did things that likely made me fail the test, like not eating properly before the test and exercising during the test. I had such different information from each person I talked to, I asked if I could just speak to a midwife about it, and when I had my appointment, the midwife said they would talk about it all together and let me know.
My stance was that I didn't mind redoing the test, but that I wanted to know if it was necessary. That midwife said she wasn't sure it was, since I hadn't been given proper instructions and I just barely failed one section.
It's been about 5 weeks or so and I never heard from them. My last midwife appointment I reminded the next (different) midwife and she was surprised they hadn't spoken about it and said she'd make sure it was talked about at their next meeting and that I'd get a call. Still no call.
Then last appointment I am told I need two additional ultraounds. I asked why and was told it was because I was high risk because I have hypertension. That was news to me, since my blood pressure hadn't been bad since the first two visits and once they stopped using the automatic cuff on me, my blood pressure was usually around 120/80. They asked me to also buy a monitor for home ($100), which I did, and I took my blood pressure every morning for a couple months and submitted it. My blood pressure at home was 115/70 approximately, every day. The midwife said she was surprised I was considered hypertension and that she'd talk to the other midwives about whether or not I needed the two extra ultrasounds, and that they'd phone me.
That phone call happened the same time as my GD phone call, namely, NEVER.
So today I go in, they were half an hour late getting me in, and I could tell right away that something bad was going on. The midwife sat down and told me that it looked like I would be asked to leave the practice because I "refused to do any testing".
First, I was angry and said "You are actually telling me AGAIN that I will have to leave, at 34 weeks?" and then I made a comment about being sick of being threatened to be kicked out of the practice, and she got all defensive and said no one was saying "kicked out" they were saying "asked to leave". I said she could say it as sweetly as she liked, it meant the same thing.
She told me that they had a meeting three weeks ago and that it was decided that I had to redo the GD test. Then last week they discussed the fact that I was questioning the ultrasounds and that they wanted me to do those as well.
Then we discussed the fact, or rather I told her, that 1) I never said I wouldn't do the procedures, I said that I wanted to know if they were actually necessary first, since I was getting so much conflicting information, and 2) that I was told they hadn't had the meeting yet, and that 3) NO ONE CALLED TO TELL ME I HAD TO DO THEM.
I would have done them already if someone had actually spoken to me about it, but no, I'm getting kicked out for refusing to do something that I didn't actually refuse to do.
So then it all changed and she said I didn't need to be kicked out, that she didn't actually think my blood pressure was bad at all, but that the OB said that with me being overweight, not being certain about my GD status and no ultrasounds, she was concerned. Then the midwife said they were concerned since no one knew if my baby was head down or not, and that "The midwives check every appointment". Uh, no they don't. I told her no one had checked, and she said "Yes they did, they check with their hands every time". I told her that no, "Wendy said she wouldn't bother". Three appointments ago, the one midwife I really like DID check and said the baby's head was down. Then the next appointment the next midwife said it was still early, so she wouldn't bother. Then last time the other midwife didn't check, just checked heartbeat. She looked all shocked and got me on the table and checked and said she wasn't certain if baby's head was down or not, so that was another reason for the ultrasound. GREAT. TELL ME I NEED IT AND I'LL OBVIOUSLY DO IT. Fuck.
Oh, and then she argued with me about exercising during the test, and about carboloading and basically accused me of trying to trick the test. (FFS) I told her to do some research because I was not trying to trick the test, I was trying to get the most accurate results, and carboloading beforehand for three days does that. She finally said she'd call the diabetes specialists at the hospital, because she just couldn't understand what I was saying, and even though the glucose bottle says not to move or make noise, she didn't understand why it would be bad to go exercise during the test.. even though the OTHER TWO MIDWIVES UNDERSTOOD AND KNEW.
The whole appointment was a stupid clusterfuck where she went on about how I could sue, and that's why they couldn't trust that my blood pressure readings were true... She threw in some fear mongering about how my placenta could just rip off of me and the baby could die, etc.
anyway, huge mess that ended with me agreeing to doing all the testing, so I have an ultrasound on Monday, 3 hour GD test on Tuesday, and an additional midwife appointment on Thursday.
She ended up telling me (and this is where it gets all frustrating in my head) that she actually thinks my blood pressure is fine, and that I'm not really high risk, but it's their OB who says I am, and they have to do what the OB says, so if I do all the tests, the OB will likely back off.
She did apologize for how they had failed me by not communication with me properly, or each other, and she gave me a big hug. (Sadly the midwife at the last appointment also apologized for that, but nothing came of it) I cried the entire appointment, and the entire drive home. I still start crying when I think of it.
I swear to god I'll rip a face off if I do all that and then they still say I need to find other care.
I think what hurts is that I picked midwives because I was looking for a certain kind of care, the kind of bonding and care that my friends back home had with their midwives. I've had all kinds of stress with mine, and feel like I just keep hitting a wall with them. I think that for my next birth, I will research a little more, think a little more about what I want. I think that I want one on one care with a midwife, not see 7 midwives and feel like I'm getting different info from everyone, and that no one is communicating properly. I think they are good midwives, I just think that I don't fit their "normal" and that they don't really know what to do with me, since I don't just say yes to everything.
Tim said that he thinks I'll still end up with the kind of birth I want, it's just unfortunate that things have gone the way they have. He says that if this comes up with them again, I need to just be straight forward and tell them that I do not have a problem with the testing or procedures, I have a problem with the different opinions I've been getting and the lack of communication.
So big freaking mess of stupidity.
Then my best friend in Canada called and said she had bad news for me.. I wanted to cry again, I thought she was going to say she couldn't come visit, but she said that she couldn't get the flight she wanted into Dulles airport, but she got one into Baltimore!!!! She's coming for a week at the end of August. I want to cry I'm so happy. That news made my day all better again.
So, what a high and low and high again day!!! I'm still pretty fed up with the midwives, and all that crap, but hopefully it will get worked out.