(no subject)

There are some things I just cannot handle well. Tonight I cried all the way home from work. It was actually an exceptionally fun shift, everything went really well, then just as we were closing I remembered the woman with blood on her hands, sores on her face and I decided to go check the garbage cans. Sure enough, two needles and tons of bloody toilet paper.

I know everyone has different feelings about addicts, for various reasons, but I swear my heart just breaks. My shift supervisor kept going on about the 'fsking junkie' but I just felt pain in my heart for her. I swear the prison of addiction breaks my heart more than most things.

The couple who were smoking crack in the bathroom that I wrote about a few weeks ago are no longer allowed in the store, or in fact on the property where our store is. I understand, but it feels so inhumane to me somehow.

This world is too messed up for me sometimes.

I drove home thinking about how she probably had AIDS or some other death sentence, how she was trapped in addiction.. what led her there.. why she made the choices she did. Why I was born into the family I was. Why I have made the choices I have. Why my life is so opposite of hers. Why I hurt for her so much...

I wish she knew that someone cried for her tonight.