Melanie ~ look at me with starry eyes...

Ahh, love my husband. He's putting the first coat of light purple on Reagan's walls right now. I'm so stupidly excited. Doesn't take much for me, does it. We taped last night, he just had to tape the ceiling tonight. I'm not a fan of taping, but it really does make a cleaner paint job.

Paxton and I are downstairs because Paxton was distraught about not being allowed in the room with Tim. I'm doing my part for the world and folding laundry. I've got Reagan's curtains and sheets in the wash.

I kind of want to go mow the lawn, but it means wearing Paxton on my back and I'm not sure I'm that motivated today. Maybe when he goes for a nap I'll run out and do it. If the bedroom and furniture get done early enough, the lawn won't be an issue, but I don't want a mess of a yard for Reagan's party.

I'm going to walk down the road today or tomorrow and invite the girls at the end of the road to Reagan's party. I haven't actually met them yet, but their mom has waved to me a few times and Reagan plays in their front yard a lot. I need to invite the girl across the street as well. She has a baby brother who is a month younger than Paxton and the boys met the other day. It'll be so nice to have a buddy right across the street from us. I'm going to have to learn Spanish. (The mom actually has pretty good english, but I should still learn some!)

We have the bounce castle coming for the party, I hope it's good weather. I am going to pick up a bunch of sidewalk chalk so the kids can play with that as well, and I think we'll do the balloon pop game, where you tie a balloon to your ankle and try to pop other people's balloons. I have a feeling Isabel won't be a fan of it but Ella will pop everyone's balloons. I love all the personalities. I'm not sure if I need another game. I'm not really into big organized parties, I'd rather just let the kids run around and have some fun. Maybe I'll pull all the balls outside so they can kick those around too.

I'm so excited about Reagan's cake, even though it's just a bigger version of what I did last year.

Think I'll go make us some lunch! I'm going to give Paxton a piece of toast that has milk in the ingredients. He's had chick-fil-a that has a bit of milk in it, so I'm curious to see how he'll do with it. Would be nice to be able to buy one kind of bread for the house.

One year and one day ago, my son was born. It was a day I had waited for all my life. I always felt like I was born wanting to be a mom. There were a lot of years I was afraid it would never happen for me. I wanted to be with someone who I knew would be a great husband and dad, and I married him. I married into an instant family, which came with its own challenges, but many joys. Paxton James has a very loving big sister and two parents who love him more than they can describe.

At one year, Paxton is walking confidently. I love when he walks backwards, he thinks he's so funny. He has quite the sense of humour, he likes to laugh along with us, even when he has no idea what the joke is. He's an entertainer, loves to get a reaction of of us. In groups of people, he's quiet, he watches people and tries to figure things out, but once he's comfortable, he'll be your best friend. He loves men, he is interested in facial hair.

He still has a bit of a dairy intolerance, but he eats well other than that. He still nurses many times a day, he's a snacker. He likes to sit up on my lap and nurse facing me, except for when he's tired, then he slides his butt off my leg to try to lay down. He lays himself down on a pillow to nurse for nap times and bedtime. He says "nuh nuh" and "moah" if he wants to nurse.

He calls animals "doahg", and can "wuff". He says "dada" and knows who dada is. He says "momma" sometimes, but mostly says "nuh nuh" when he wants me. He signs for "more", sometimes, he did it the other day when he wanted Tim to read another book to him. He knows how to sign "all finished", "milk" and "fan". He talks with his hands sometimes, like he knows there should be a sign for what he's trying to say to us. He loves fans, is getting very interested in birds and airplanes. He does independent play and likes to wander off on his own.

He's a momma's boy. He loves me very much, which gives me huge joy. It can be tiring, since he wants me a lot of the time, but he also adores his dada and Tim is great about giving me breaks.

He slept with Tim and I for the first year, but we are transitioning him to sleep by himself. His crib has been attached to our bed, and when we go home, the side is going on his crib. He's been sleeping part the night, here, in a pack and play, it's been nice to have my bed back!

I'm not sure what he weighs, I know he's over 20lbs, but we'll have the 1 year checkup when we get home to Virginia. I'm not sure about his height either, but he's a strong little boy.

His eyes are still sort of grey green, sometimes almost look hazel. His hair has gone from dark brown to a honey brown that looks red in the sun. His hands and feet still look like his dad's but his face is mine. There are pieces of his dad in there, in his face, but he looks a lot like me as a baby. He looks just like my dad and a lot like my brother.

People still mention how he looks at them like he's trying to figure them out. Strangers have said that since he was born. He purses his lips and really watches people he's interested in. He loves babies, he really likes little boys. He loves his sister.


A mom. I'm a mom and have been for a year and a day. It's a good fit for me, I feel good as a mom, more complete, like I'm doing something that I really was supposed to do. I think I've dealt well with the lack of sleep and just overall tiredness. My weakest moments are in the middle of the night when he has those odd nights that he wakes and won't go back to sleep and just wants to nurse for 3 hours. My other weak moment is when I'm trying to make dinner and he cries and holds onto the back of my legs, he doesn't want to be in a carrier, he just wants me to hold him. Other than that, I really love it. I think the only surprises are the exhaustion, and probably how great my love is and how great my fears can be. What I feel for this baby is so intense, but wonderful. I'm silly and sometimes think about when he's grown, and I miss him already. I hope I'm a good mom, and that my son is always in my life in some way.

Tim has proved himself to be a great dad, again. I fell in love with the kind of dad he was to Reagan, and I knew he would love our children so well. It's different because Paxton is here all the time, whereas with Reagan he misses out on half a week with her and really misses her, but the love is just as strong. Tim gives me changes to sleep in, he has taken on more than his fair share of housework. He packs my diaper bag for me and is very considerate of the things I need. He does night time with Paxton when I've hit my limit. I can see how much he loves his son.

Reagan is a joy as a big sister. She loves Paxton so much and is very proud of him. She talks about her baby brother a lot. There has been no jealousy, she has transitioned into have a sibling very well. We worked hard to prepare her and to make her feel special as a big sister and as herself and I think it has all gone very smoothly. I can count on her to watch him while I shower or am making a meal, on the weekend. I am really proud of how well she has done with this, and it makes my heart happy when I see the love she has for him.

The year could have been a big disaster, but I think it turned out to be an excellent one. How can a year of passed? The other day, Tim was showing me our first videos of Paxton and it seems like a lifetime ago, but just like yesterday at the same time. Our precious baby.

I probably don't brag about him enough on here.

He packs my diaper bag for me.
He always makes sure my water bottle is full of water.
He makes our bed every day.
He cleans the kitchen every night.
He takes out the garbage without being asked.
He gasses up the car.
He mows the lawn.
He does all the laundry.
He changes cloth diapers. He WASHES cloth diapers.
He lets me sleep in when I ask him.
He tucks a pillow behind my back in the middle of the night, when I'm sitting up nursing.
He is gentle.
He is funny.
He is awful in that way that makes me laugh. His sense of humour matches mine well.
He is loving.
He is considerate.
He is usually pretty patient.
He loves his children.
He reads to Paxton.
He talks with Reagan.
He hugs his kids. He hugs me.
He backs me up in parenting.
He isn't perfect, thank goodness.
He supports me and is supportive of me.
He let me be a stay at home mom, which was my dream.
He encourages me to go home to see my family.
He writes the best messages in cards.
He has great style.
He's handsome.
He's sexy.
He loves me, and people can see it.
His kids are not afraid of him.
His kids adore him.
He sacrifices for his children.
He takes the high road for his daughter.
He is just a really great guy.

One of the things that made me fall in love with him was the way he hugged Reagan when she was crying and throwing a fit, as a little four year old. He was just so gentle with her. I love my dad and he's a great dad, but I don't think he would have ever just stopped and hugged me when I was freaking out. I knew I wanted that kind of a partner, and that kind of father for my kids. I know he'll give Paxton the same kind of gentle kindness and patience he gave to Reagan. I'm grateful to have him as a husband and best friend and dad to my kids.

Tim with 4 year old Reagan


Tim with his kids (after a very tiring couple of child birthing days)