(no subject)
Oct. 18th, 2005 06:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mellybrellyI took my sadness for a walk... and dropped it somewhere in the forest.
Dinner ~ asparagus (stinky pee!) and who knows what else. Maybe a potato, maybe not. Maybe chicken, maybe not. I want to make soup, but I think I'll save that for my first night at my house-sitting.
I called my mom on my 15 minute lunch break because I was walking and I couldn't stop crying. The day just started out, and actually carried over from a rough emotional state. I walked into the death shroud elevator. The long brown curtains signify that either 1) someone has died, 2) someone is no longer able to take care of themselves or 3) someone is moving in, but people only move in if someone has died or moved out. Living in a building full of old people has a sweetness to it, but a underlying sadness, for me, at the same time.
I think today was the first time I mourned my nana's loss since the funeral. It was her card, the lack of one. 30 years I've had a birthday card, usually with a girl with red hair on the front. Sweet words about lovely granddaughters, and my nana's writing inside. I miss her.
I came home and walked. I haven't had a lot of quiet, to myself time, and I needed it. I wished I had my camera, the colours in the woods were incredible and the stream was swollen. Now I'm here, in an empty apartment, thinking I should pack up and be ready for the move tomorrow.
x
Dinner ~ asparagus (stinky pee!) and who knows what else. Maybe a potato, maybe not. Maybe chicken, maybe not. I want to make soup, but I think I'll save that for my first night at my house-sitting.
I called my mom on my 15 minute lunch break because I was walking and I couldn't stop crying. The day just started out, and actually carried over from a rough emotional state. I walked into the death shroud elevator. The long brown curtains signify that either 1) someone has died, 2) someone is no longer able to take care of themselves or 3) someone is moving in, but people only move in if someone has died or moved out. Living in a building full of old people has a sweetness to it, but a underlying sadness, for me, at the same time.
I think today was the first time I mourned my nana's loss since the funeral. It was her card, the lack of one. 30 years I've had a birthday card, usually with a girl with red hair on the front. Sweet words about lovely granddaughters, and my nana's writing inside. I miss her.
I came home and walked. I haven't had a lot of quiet, to myself time, and I needed it. I wished I had my camera, the colours in the woods were incredible and the stream was swollen. Now I'm here, in an empty apartment, thinking I should pack up and be ready for the move tomorrow.
x
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 01:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 04:57 am (UTC)All my hugs and prayers go out to you Melanie ♥
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 06:23 am (UTC)Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 03:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 06:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 03:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 06:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 03:52 pm (UTC)did you write it, or is it from a book or something?
i need to take more walks.
i hate the busyness of my life.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 06:13 am (UTC)I'm doing daily goals right now, and my goal for tomorrow is to walk in the woods for about an hour :) I hate the busyness of my life as well.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 11:15 pm (UTC)Things that make you go hmmmm.... :)
no subject
Date: 2005-10-25 12:59 am (UTC)I like eating lots of beets and peeing pink.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-25 05:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-25 05:44 am (UTC)