Melanie ~ look at me with starry eyes...

Last night was a hard night! Paxton decided, again, that he didn't want to sleep. Tim couldn't even sit with him, he had to pace for hours. He brought him to bed and we slept for a couple of hours. I woke with my alarm to nurse him, but Pax wouldn't wake up enough to actually nurse. Worried me since it was our last chance since about 1 am.

Tim got up with him at 4 and again paced with him. I got up and showered at 5. It was so sad to not be able to nurse him. I can't usually feel my letdowns, but I kept feeling pressure and couldn't nurse it out. He kept asking for "nuh nuhs" and it felt so wrong to not be able to feed him, but I wasn't willing to do anything that could put him at risk. Lots of tears, but watching Bananaphone on youtube over and over again, got us through about 20 minutes.

We got to the surgery at 6:50 like we were told, but they didn't take him in till almost 8 am. If I had realized it was going to be that late, I would have nursed him at 4:30 when he was crying so much.

He looked so cute in his hospital gown. I wish I brought my phone to take pictures! Tim left his in the car too. He did really well with his vitals being checked, even his little teeny leg blood pressure cuff. The doctor came in and explained the whole procedure to us again, and the anesthesiologist came in and talked to us as well. The nurses were so sweet and loving to Paxton, kept coming in and playing peekaboo with him and tried to keep him from crying. He was pretty fussy since he was so hungry.

After we gave him kisses and said our goodbye, I burst into tears. It was so scary! I would have been way less stressed if he didn't have to be put to sleep for the procedure.

After they were done, the doctor came and told us that it was such a thick frenulum that he had to give him three stitches. They will dissolve within 1-5 days. He was so excited about it taking 3 stitches, it really made me laugh, how excited he was about the whole thing. He sat down and told us that he thought it was excellent that we had done the surgery because it will make such a big difference for breastfeeding. I like that he was so pro-breastfeeding.

We went and sat with Paxton and waited for him to wake up. I think he was so tired from not sleeping most the night that he wasn't waking up. The nurse started gently waking him and I held him right away and nursed him immediately. I was so happy that right away his latch was better. His lip doesn't curl in anymore, I had to fix it every time we nursed, it immediately flanged up and out around my breast. If my next (possible) baby has this problem, I will get it done as soon as possible, I wish I didn't wait so long to do this. I think it would have helped our breastfeeding issues so much.

The nurse walked us out to the car. I was really impressed with how gentle and kind everyone was. I think that after my awful birth experience, I needed this kind of experience to help me trust people in the medical profession again.

Tim and I stopped for coffee on the way home. I put the baby down for a nap and fell asleep with him right away. Tim came in and told me, in my half sleep stupor, that he was going to get lunch for us. I woke up a couple hours later. I gave Pax more tylenol, but he's been cheerful and silly and playing like normal.

Stressful day but man, I'm sure glad it's over and I'm sure glad I went ahead with the surgery! Thank you Children's National Specialists of Virginia.

I woke up sick this morning, which might explain why I fell asleep at 8:30 last night. Paxton and I slept till 12:30 am, got up and hung out with Tim for a bit, had a snack, Paxton fed and went back to sleep so I did the same. He slept till about 5:30 am, but then nursed off and on for about an hour and a half, I think he was just too rested. We both fell back asleep for a morning nap

Yesterday I took him to the doctor and was very happy to see he gained 11 ounces in 2 weeks, I think it's cutting out the dairy that helped. The nurse was sweet but an idiot. I had to tell her three times that I thought she was leaning on the scale, as she's pushing it up past 11 lbs.. Then she measured his length wrong and forgot to measure his head. Another nurse came in and did it, and was very unimpressed with the first nurse (although she loves Paxton and asked to hold him), and told me "She's only been here three months and she won't be here another". He goes back in 2 months, but I think I'll take him next month for a lab to see how his weight gain is going.

After that it was off to vitainpalus's house. I got to hold her baby Riley for a few minutes, while Paxton was nursing, it was adorable to have both of them in my arms but made me appreciate how much work it would be with twins!! Isabel snuggled up to me and we sang every preschool song I could remember. I love my visits with them.

A new Harris Teeter grocery story opened, and there was a coupon in the mail for $10 off of $40 of groceries for the next 4 weeks. I had some coupons for other things, and then shopped carefully. Spent $55 and saved $36 with coupons!

An older woman at the grocery store oohed over Paxton and then said slightly disapproving "You are going to spoil that baby", since he was in a wrap, and I said "Yup, I am!". If baby wearing is spoiling, then I will have a very spoiled baby. Someone should tell those Ethiopian babies on their momma's backs that they are spoiled.

A man stopped me and told me that his daughter had a little birthmark behind her ear, just like Paxton's little one on his head. Then his wife went on about how they can cause mental retardation, thankfully I didn't freak out about it, but the husband laughed and said that his wife was just a nurse and to quit saying things that would scare me. I know Pax is fine, so it didn't really bother me.

One of their daughters told me that she has a brand new baby brother, and they had 4 kids with them so I said "You guys have a baby too?!", she said "No, he's my stepmom's baby", and the mom looked at her and smiled and said "He's 3 weeks old now, right?". The mom didn't look like she had one negative feeling showing about it, and it made me a bit sad that things aren't as good in our family, with that stuff. I wanted to tell her that I had a stepdaughter too, so she'd know there are more of us, but we all moved on too quickly.

I think I need to take some tylenol. I took one this morning and slept most the morning with Paxton, but it must be worn off, my headache is getting worse and my throat is hurting more. Paxton is asleep right now, so I'll try to lay down and rest. Think it'll be leftovers for dinner tonight.